Ups, Downs, and People Falling Down

It was Saturday morning, the day of the company party. I received a text from my prospective date, she had been sick, so it was uncertain if she would be attending. Shortly after, I called her, she was feeling better and we were making plans for the evening's events. Feeling slightly better about my day, I went about my weekend routine. A few hours later, she informed me that she was not quite as well as she had initially thought, so I was on my own for the evening.

I was fine with this news, as I have never gone dateless to the holiday party in my 8+ years with the company. It seemed like a bit of a refreshing change. I wouldn't have to worry about being tied down or having to constantly worry about keeping her entertained. Not that these are necessarily problems, but I was kind of looking forward to doing my own thing for a change. It was a little weird and different at times, however it turned out fine for the most part.

I arrived at the Biltmore a little later than I had planned. Cocktails started at 5:30, and I arrived at about a quarter till six in jeans, a t-shirt, a hat, and stubble on my face. A dream you ask? Nonsense! If that were the case, I would be naked and losing my teeth! So I check in at front desk, while hearing Duerk call my name from on high. I was in such a hurry to get back to my room to change that I waved without turning around and made a dash to my room, which was all the way at the end of the parking lot. We're talking wind sprints here, except at my speed, which would be about half of that, but know that I was breathing hard. As soon as I get to the room, I had to stop and soak in the room. Instead of a room with a bed, I am welcomed by a living room with a couch, chairs, and a fireplace. I looked around at everything, pleasantly surprised, and then I remembered the task at hand. After taking the fastest shower/shave combination of my life and stopping to take one more quick glance at my room, I made it to cocktail hour by a quarter after six.

I was welcomed with a tray of champagne. Considering the amount of stress I had just undergone that day, I immediately nabbed a glass. I had a plan, and I was gonna find accomplices. I weaved in and out of the crowd, talking to people I knew and occasionally some I did not. Since I have been there so long and gotten to know a lot of people, I was actually fairly social for a change. It was a good time, but it went extremely fast. The lights dimmed, indicating that it was time to make our way to dinner. Still carrying my half-full glass of champagne, I went into panic mode, drank the glass, and made my way to the bar for a cocktail.

I am not an alcoholic, but the events that are about to follow would probably attempt to convince you otherwise.

We filtered into the room and the search was on for our respective tables. The table I was at was a good one. We had a decent view of the "presentation" area, and the company I shared was delightful. Molly paid our table a visit, and I was asked to take a picture of her and the (formerly/soon-to-be formerly known as) Brewer sisters. Feeling decidedly playful, I faced the camera toward myself as I counted down to take the picture. That explains the goofy looking dude to the left. Apparently, I couldn't figure out where to look. I would like to think that I was looking at them, and I believe that is what happened. Next, I was counting it in again, and I turned the camera back over to this dashing face again. Finally, I took an actual worthwhile picture, and it did not need any help to turn out lovely, if the husbands/husband-to-be don't mind me saying. During the meal, H&P had a new idea in store for us: a singing and dancing awards show. I will be honest, I was emphatically opposed to this idea, because I had a feeling that it would end in disaster. It started out with a woman singing Man in the Mirror by Michael Jackson. "Great," I thought, "couldn't have started this off more appropriately."As the song progresses, a gospel choir on each side of the stage joins in, to my chagrin. Then come the dancers, and they permeate through the audience, urging us to embarrass ourselves as much as they were. The male dancer next to our table had a bit of an obesity issue, and it shocked and amused me how graceful he was.

Following this spectacle, it transitioned into the awards portion of the "show." Each award was prefaced with a song and dance by a couple members of the H&P "family." It was at this point when I started making round-trip visits to the cocktail bar. Though slightly better than I had imagined, the repeated performances became a bit insipid. The next hour or so was spent making numerous cheers and toasts with the H&P Employee of the Year. We both started snickering, and my laughing made him chuckle louder and vice versa to the point where we were in a full uproar for no particular reason other than being in a silly mood.

As per the custom of the last few years, the post-dinner gathering involved a lot of dancing. I was brought onto the dance floor by one of the branch managers. For some reason, when I dance, I like to spin girls around and dip them....a lot. Things were going well up to the point where I told her, "I am going to spin you, and then I will dip you in 5...4...3...2..." to which her momentum takes her one way...not a way I was expecting...and the next thing I know, she is tipping toward the floor. I panic, but there was nothing I could do, and her head makes the worse thudding sound on the ground. Miraculously, she swoops back to her feet as if nothing happened...but it happened and I felt terrible! She begins to exclaim, "Flip me! Flip me!" to which I reply, "I've never done that before.I don't think it's a good idea." She continues to try to force the action and I finally tell her than neither her nor I are in the proper state of mind to be able to execute such an action, so I escorted her off the dance floor. From there, it seemed like I danced with about half of the branch managers present along with a date or two here, a co-worker or so there. I won't go into specifics, but there was a lot of dancing, laughing, and falling for the remainder of the evening. Evidently, I am supposed to learn how to salsa dance for the next party, and someone else's date will learn how to swing dance.